Therapy for Low Sexual Desire in Women
Maybe you love your partner, but your body feels shut down. Maybe intimacy feels more like pressure than connection. Maybe you miss wanting closeness, but you don't know how to get back there. If any of that sounds familiar, you are in the right place, and nothing is wrong with you.
What Low Desire Can Feel Like
- Avoiding affection because you're afraid of where it might lead
- Feeling guilty, broken, or confused about why your desire changed
- Tension or dread when sex comes up, even with a partner you love
- Going through the motions and feeling disconnected from your body
- Resentment, pressure, or sadness building quietly between you
- Wondering if you should just push through and hoping it fixes itself
Common Reasons Desire Changes
Low desire is rarely caused by one thing. It is usually your body responding to real conditions: chronic stress and burnout, hormonal shifts like postpartum or perimenopause, unresolved relationship tension, carrying most of the mental load, body image struggles, anxiety or depression, medications, pain, or past experiences that made intimacy feel unsafe.
In other words, low desire is information, not a personal failure. Therapy helps you understand what your desire is responding to and what would help it feel possible again.
How Therapy Can Help
- Identify your personal "brakes" that shut desire down and "accelerators" that help it open up
- Reduce the shame, guilt, and self-blame that keep the cycle going
- Understand responsive desire and why waiting to "feel like it" often means waiting forever
- Lower the pressure around intimacy so closeness stops feeling like a demand
- Build language to talk with your partner without blame
- Address the stress, mental load, and relationship patterns underneath
What Sessions May Include
Sessions are 50-minute video conversations. Depending on your goals, we may include education about how desire actually works, reflection exercises and worksheets, communication practice, anxiety and stress skills, and gentle exploration of the experiences and beliefs shaping how intimacy feels now.
You set the pace. You never have to share more than you're ready to, and you can't do therapy wrong.
What This Is, and What It Is Not
This is talk therapy. There is no sexual contact, nudity, or physical touch involved, ever. The goal is not simply "more sex." The goal is a healthier, safer, more connected relationship with intimacy, on your terms.
Who this may not be the best fit for
This practice may not be the best fit if you are seeking crisis care, court-ordered treatment, custody evaluations, emergency support, or intensive substance use treatment. I also do not provide couples therapy at this time; all sessions are individual.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is low desire normal?
Yes. Desire naturally rises and falls with stress, health, seasons of life, and relationship dynamics. It becomes worth addressing when it causes you distress or distance in your relationship.
Do I need my partner to participate?
No. This is individual therapy. Many women find that as they understand their own desire, communication with their partner improves naturally. I do not provide couples therapy at this time.
Will you tell me to just try harder?
Never. Pushing through is often part of what created the problem. We work on reducing pressure, not adding it.
Could this be medical?
Sometimes hormones, medications, pain, or health conditions contribute. I'll encourage a conversation with your medical provider alongside therapy when that seems relevant.
Want to read more first? Start with What Happens in Sex Therapy? or download the free Low Desire Reflection Worksheet.
Ready to Take the First Step?
I offer a free 15-minute consultation to answer your questions, discuss your goals, and help determine whether we're a good fit for working together.
Schedule Your Free Consultation